This delirious marching band workout feels beamed in from a pre-algorithm era. The relentless pace – think Lose My Breath by Destiny’s Child covered by Britney – is best described as “full Lycra chafe”, while the scattergun lyrics eschew slick self-empowerment in favour of chunky slabs of bravado. Dig out those bedazzled, ultra low-rise jeans and run, don’t walk, to the nearest burst fire hydrant – it’s 2004 again!
Joel Corry and Jax Jones ft Charli XCX and Saweetie
Stage one of Charli XCX’s new “selling-out” era is almost-but-not-quite everything you want it to be. Full-tan-and-teeth DJ-producer Joel Corry recreates the sticky-floored club experience, and Charli has some fun with the word Uber, but it’s Stromae’s 2010 hit Alors On Danse – inelegantly plonked in the space where a chorus should be – that’s left to do all the heavy lifting.
Late-night bus journeys have a new soundtrack in the shape of this monochrome slice of brooding electronica. Opening with vinyl scratches and distant piano, its tactile minimalism soon gives way to mixtape-era Weeknd moods, all claustrophobic emotions and dry-ice R&B. Perfect for that top-deck, head-against-the-window pout after a heartbreaking night out.
Namasenda ft Mowalola
“I’m going to regret this when I’m sober,” shrugs Namasenda on this pulverising ode to securing that not-so-special someone in an overpriced club. “Shots after shots after shots” help, with the production mirroring the drink’s head-spinning properties via metallic, popping-candy beats. “Scoped out a playboy,” Namasenda sings, followed swiftly by letdown: “Oh, he’s an A-hole.” Aren’t they all.
Machine Gun Kelly
Here’s the litmus test with any Machine Gun Kelly single: is it as entertaining as that video of him self-consciously “rocking out” like Charlie from Busted in a boardroom at his major label offices while various employees stare at their morning pain au raisins wishing for imminent death? I’m happy to confirm the lumpen Papercuts does not pass that test.